Fare Thee Well Mum

Hello lovely people:
I would like to take this opportunity to thank you all for your support through this difficult year and my mother in laws battle with cancer.
However, for those who do not know, she passed on peacefully at home on Sunday 23rd June, 2013.
We held a service and burial ceremony on 29th June 2013 and are now in the process of trying to move on.
It has been a truly difficult time for us.
We loved her so much and were torn between letting her go since she was suffering too much from the cancer or holding on too her and continually taking care of her.
Sometimes, its such a conflicting situation. We have had conflicting feelings for such a long time.
However, she did prepare us.
She told us not to pray for her healing but for God to do his will.
The night before she died (I still cannot believe am typing that word) she prayed for each one of us separately. She talked to us and told us the kind of life she wanted us to live.
It was an emotional night but an amazing fellowship.
Its like she knew.
Looking back, I know she was ready and when that Sunday afternoon came, with my father in law watching and praying with her, she breathed her last and slipped into the hands of God.
She was a firm believer so I know that her eternal dreams have been fulfilled.
We loved her and will always do and we do miss her terribly.
We cry a lot.
But we know that God picked the best from His garden.
He did not want her to suffer anymore.
He wanted to restore her health and give her the fullness of life.
I do feel teary writing this but I know she is in a truly better place.
A place where cancer is non-existent.
A place of pure and unrestricted joy.
Fare thee well Mum!
We do love you so very much!

On my Heart

There are times that life serves us things that are too scary, we try to run  away and hide our faces under the sand.
I have been wanting to talk about the issue that has been on my hear for a long time.
However, when I open the blog and try to type in the words, I just crash and hide under the sand.
But, today is the day.

On my heart today is my mother in law.
Just a fact you should know is I love her to bits.
I don't know how us as human beings can meet someone at a later stage in life and just love them like your own. Am very protective of her.
However, the reason why she is on my heart constantly is because of Cancer.
Yes, it is scary and that is why I have not been able to write about it.
She was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer a few years ago and it has been a difficult couple of years for her.
There have been numerous trips to the hospital, abroad and in Kenya.
There have been huge medical bills that have had a huge impact on the family.
There have been constant medication, surgery, chemotherapy and just a crazy medical schedule.
There have been numerous hospital admissions.
There have been crazy days when she got so sick and we got so scared.
And then there have been the difficult days, the days when we all give up. The days when we all do not know what to do. The days when even with all the strength we have developed so far, it is not enough.
The days when we just sit and wonder what next.

But then after a few days of giving up, we realize that she is still here and we have to be strong for her and for ourselves.
Those are the days when we wipe our tears and start looking for a new way to help her feel better.
Ways to show her how much we love her.

She is on my heart today because she is very protective of me too.
She is so eager to meet her grandchild and I totally hope its a girl because I want to name her after her.
She has taught me so much.
I now know how to love my siblings more because of the way she relates to hers.
I now understand that family is the greatest gift one can ever have.
I also know that am loved because she has shown me love.

I just keep praying that she feels better and that God restores her.
That God touches her and resuscitates her health.
My biggest prayer right now is that God gives her strength to take each day as it comes.

My heart be still, for things will be alright!