Thursday, 13 June 2013

On my Heart

There are times that life serves us things that are too scary, we try to run  away and hide our faces under the sand.
I have been wanting to talk about the issue that has been on my hear for a long time.
However, when I open the blog and try to type in the words, I just crash and hide under the sand.
But, today is the day.

On my heart today is my mother in law.
Just a fact you should know is I love her to bits.
I don't know how us as human beings can meet someone at a later stage in life and just love them like your own. Am very protective of her.
However, the reason why she is on my heart constantly is because of Cancer.
Yes, it is scary and that is why I have not been able to write about it.
She was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer a few years ago and it has been a difficult couple of years for her.
There have been numerous trips to the hospital, abroad and in Kenya.
There have been huge medical bills that have had a huge impact on the family.
There have been constant medication, surgery, chemotherapy and just a crazy medical schedule.
There have been numerous hospital admissions.
There have been crazy days when she got so sick and we got so scared.
And then there have been the difficult days, the days when we all give up. The days when we all do not know what to do. The days when even with all the strength we have developed so far, it is not enough.
The days when we just sit and wonder what next.

But then after a few days of giving up, we realize that she is still here and we have to be strong for her and for ourselves.
Those are the days when we wipe our tears and start looking for a new way to help her feel better.
Ways to show her how much we love her.

She is on my heart today because she is very protective of me too.
She is so eager to meet her grandchild and I totally hope its a girl because I want to name her after her.
She has taught me so much.
I now know how to love my siblings more because of the way she relates to hers.
I now understand that family is the greatest gift one can ever have.
I also know that am loved because she has shown me love.

I just keep praying that she feels better and that God restores her.
That God touches her and resuscitates her health.
My biggest prayer right now is that God gives her strength to take each day as it comes.

My heart be still, for things will be alright!