Talk about a memory triggered by a particular song
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I remember mostly with vague details, the cold nights that I have had to endure. But one of those stands out more than others. We lived together. It had been more than a year of living together. The problem was that it was losing the luster. The relationship I mean. It was no longer what it had been in the past years.
He had changed and I used to tell him everyday. He was not the same person any more. I looked into his eyes and I knew that things were no longer the same. There was no interest in spending time together and we tried to avoid each other whenever possible.
Being the optimist I am, I hoped. I spent many of my days hoping and praying. And telling myself that things were gonna be ok. It did not feel right though. It felt as if my heart was already gone while I forced my body to stay in the same spot. This is why I felt so much pain. It felt like there was not enough oxygen. I struggled but I knew that someday I would have to give in to the life that I truly deserved.
The call came and he went into the bedroom to take it. I knew this was not any call. My body misled me even when my heart said no. I followed him and I overheard his call. The soft voice, the sweet nothings, all the things that used to be whispered to my ear. Only this time, they were meant for someone else.
I slept on the couch that night and the only song I listened to was "Damn Cold Night" by Avril Lavigne.And it was definitely the coldest night ever.
I am so sorry that you had to go through this. I hope you never have to hear that song again so you don't have to relive this moment anymore. :-)
ReplyDeleteSorry about to hear this Emmy! It's not your lost. You deserve better. Don't listen to that song anymore if it brings back painful memories. I feel sorry, because i did something similar. Not that I cheated. I would never do that. I let him go. We're so far from each other and I can't live with that. I think i broke somebody's heart. I regret that I did. It was my lost. My feeling is till there. The pain is on me. He deserves better. And you as well...
ReplyDeleteSorry you had to go through that! Someone better will come along if they haven't already. Glad to have met you through Scintila!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comments. I definitely believe that life only gets better so am expecting the best.
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