Crossroads.....

Its been one of those weeks where the emotional part of me wakes up and starts nagging. As noted in the earlier post, i suddenly lost my grandmother and this loss has really changed how i see life. I keep on wondering, if she had not been so loving and ready to open up her life to all of us, would we miss her so much?? But anyway, she loved us openly and encouraged us to love in a similar manner, that is why am yet to get over her loss.

However, for me the question that keeps bugging is whether i should get married or not? This issue keeps coming up now and then. It is very difficult for me to know whether its time or not. The problem is that i do not really know what Mr b/f thinks about it.

What if i lose him??what if we are just wasting time and we end up falling apart after being together for so long?I know i love him and he does love me, but why is it so difficult to make the most important step? Why??This is a two way decision and it is very difficult for us. I sometimes think that when it is the right time, it should not be so difficult to make the decision. So, where do i go from here, i wish i could get some insight!!!